the best and worst of a day in retail

Wednesday, February 28, 2007


Bulgarian music makes for a sleepy Shopgirlove...Nighty night!


Shopgirlove got a job!!!!!! Yay!!!!! No idea when it starts or how much it pays or much of anything except it's a one month temp gig in an Ivory tower that might turn into a staff position. Phew.
Oh yay!
I ain't changin' my name, though. In my heart of hearts I'll always be a shopgirl.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Is Shopgirlove nuts?

Or is the Unit getting a little political?


Shopgirlove doesn't quite know what to make of this...on the one hand, maybe the thieves were just after electronics they could sell on Craig's List, on the other hand, maybe not. Anyhow, it reminds Shopgirlove of another break-in. Oh, wait a minute! Wasn't there some sort of presidential crisis or whatever waaaaay back when that started with a tiny little robbery?

Monday, February 26, 2007

Hi Lo

Shopgirlove has noticed a disturbing trend. Folks on the left seem to have come to the conclusion that other folks can't follow both the the gossip pages and real news. Guess what, this is untrue. It turns out folks can multitask. Who knew we as Americans were capable of following both the Scooter Libby trial and the death of one of the most beautiful women ever after Sophia Loren.?
More to the point is the question of whether or not liberals would ever dare attack men for following sports. Shopgirlove thinks not. Men, it seems, get a free pass to follow their obsessions with little to no judgement as to their ability to decipher political happenings. She guesses folks are only deemed fickle if they pursue those cultural interests that mostly interest women. So give your fantasy football team your all but do not, ever voice your interest in a starlet! If you want to be taken seriously by the blogosphere, that is.

Strange times at the Prettyman

The art curator who wouldn't wear the we heart Judge Walton tee-shirt went on line, or somehow otherwise compromised her ability to be Libby's peer, and was dismissed. Things appeared, disappeared, and then reappeared (including a pair of panties--don't ask.). Oh, and the power went out leading to speculation about who might be caught with whom in the elevators.
The jury, deliberating in whatever natural light was to be had from their window soldiered on, and has yet to reach a verdict.
C'mon, it's not even the full moon yet!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

To the reader from Kuwait

Shopgirlove is sorry. So sorry. You were searching for "sex with women" and you ended up here. So not what you were looking for. Shopgirlove feels terrible, she wishes she could make it up to you but that would involve air-travel, and she's so over flying. Here's hoping you have sex, sometime soon, with women.

Saturday, February 24, 2007



Shopgirlove's favorite Celtic was 52. He is not in the Hall of Fame despite being the 11th player in the history of the NBA with 15,000 points and 5,000 assists. He never ran when he could walk and Shopgirlove couldn't take her eyes off him. Goodbye #3, may you rest in peace.

Crazy women and sex-crazed men

Shopgirlove's Mam told her about Craig Ferguson's (yum!) monologue from February 19th . He's decided not to make fun of people like Britney Spears and other celebs for melting down in terribly public and humiliating ways. His point, well-taken, is that these are human beings with families and enough trouble as it is. They are easy targets. Ferguson thinks his talents might be better put to use skewering the powerful and also has some funny things to say about his own journey to sobriety. There's a vicar involved, watch the vid...
All of this has Shopgirlove wondering why wacky women are so fascinating to us. Men on the verge of a nervous break down just don't capture the imagination in the same way. With men, it's sex. Especially sex with crazy women. Except for Michael Jackson where it's crazy sex.
Why the resonance? Do we think all women are nuts and all men are over-sexed? What if these are less gotcha moments than aha moments?
So, o.k., Shopgirlove will take the high road. Like any good twelve-stepper she is speaking only for herself. She realizes that some people can make fun of crazy women and randy men. But not Shopgirlove. From now on the joke's on the Donald .

Thursday, February 22, 2007

The best laid plans gang oft aglae

Or something like that.
Shopgirlove had intended a Lenten post extraordinaire. A picture of la Tour du beurre in Rouen juxtaposed nicely with that old trick turning the lady o' the lake into the tart of fourth grade. (Shopgirlove hopes to avoid any contact with lawyers from corporate America by clearly not identifying a national chain of dairy products in any way that might incur prejudice or otherwise get her into trouble.)
However, two dear readers called the emergency line to complain that Shopgirlove had yet to weigh in on Bridget's Baby Daddy...The problem with this story, to paraphrase Gertrude Stein, is that there is no there there. What is the message behind the story of a guy who knocks up the girl he's about to dump? Condom's 'R Good? Oh well, two readers constitute a surge for Shopgirlove, so she will try to unearth some cultural relevance from this story.
I dedicate the following to B. and J.P.:

Shopgirlove was a boo-boo. Since she was conceived before Roe v. Wade and paternity tests, Shopgirlove's Mam had limited options before her. Have a child and relinquish it for adoption. Travel to another country for an abortion or undergo the procedure illegally in a back alley in her own country. Coerce her boyfriend into marriage and hope he did the "right thing". And last, but by no means least, be a single mother in an era that had little compassion for woman not legitimized by their relationship to a man.

Bridget Moynahan has very few cards stacked against her. She can identify her Baby Daddy- and raise the child by herself-while Brady, who by all accounts is a stand up kind of guy, will undoubtedly be present in this child's life. Few, however, would be surprised if Mr. Q.B. of all time were the central character in a future tell-all memoir published in 2041.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Helen Thomas doesn't do deference

Shopgirlove has always had a soft spot for this feisty throwback from a time when reporters cared more about uncovering the truth than about currying favor. A time when those in power actually cared about selling their message. Not even Nixon had the arrogance to ignore Helen Thomas.
Then came George W. Bush. The tone of his administration was set early on during the 2000 campaign with a hot mike comment regarding a certain NYT's journalist. "A major league a**hole." His partner in crime's response? "Big time."
Bush soon began to subvert the traditions of every President before him starting with John F. Kennedy. Ah well, he is the decider...
But things get Orwellian with the recent redesign of the briefing room at the White House. Ms. Thomas' seat, which she has occupied for almost fifty years, has lost a row. No longer front and center, "the First Lady of the Press" will be demoted to the second row.
The Leader of the Free World is scared of an eighty-seven year old woman.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Dear Schvitzim

Welcome, my dewy darlings! Here, have a towel..are you hungry? A little soup? No? Some tea? Something stronger? Shopgirlove is honored to be considered a source, much less a reliable one, especially for someone she so admires. Please, make yourselves at home and try not to import any high-brow, intellectual, "I expect to leave edified", Schvitzy-style expectations...
Thanks for visiting!

Sunday, February 18, 2007


The homeless in L.A. just keep growing, even the astonishingly wealthy can't find anything!

Britney's hair wants to go back to rehab!

It's official! Too much television can kill you! Or: Make sure your neighbors know you're at home not in a home...

The Paper I Used To Love, I mean, the NYT still loves the ladies ;-)

The Washington Post gives up any semblance of actually having an editorial board.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Ice ice baby

Shopgirlove's Mam's car is frozen into the brand-new glacier formed in Davis Sq., Somerville which may be named "Slick". Scientists are not certain that "Slick" will be able to counteract the warmest January on record, but penguins can dream.

Shopgirlove attended a lovely dinner party: mango-jalapeno-sorbet! Oh my! Everyone was really very witty and there were funny stories about chipmunks and cataracts-no really, you had to be there! Anyway, Shopgirlove had some amazing food, great tequila, and wonderful company. None of which makes for good blogging...

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Such a day!

A man in China is sentenced to death for selling ants getting jiggy with it.

J Lo put her money where her mouth is.

La Paglia returns (thank you baby Jesus!).

The Celtics didn't lose.

Something really important happened in the Scooter Libby trial, but it was so boring Shopgirlove stopped paying attention and doesn't know what it was.

Ricky Martin re-evaluated his earlier support for the Leader of the Free World.

Drug addicts in higher offices got no respect and facts are just not that important.

Cox and Aniston do not contribute to your Afternoon Delight, but A.'s a doll.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Who knew

Such delicate forms could weigh so much...Shopgirlove's back is complaining. The powder this morning was fine. But the third time she hoisted the shovel and remembered just how awful wet snow could be? Well, that was it for Shopgirlove. Old Man Winter can go home for all she cares. Goodbye and good riddance!

Ain't love grand?

Shopgirlove wishes all of you a sappy, happy Valentine's Day!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007


So Shopgirlove took lunch at 4:00 in order to witness her friend's wedding. (Thankfully escaping the woman maintaining that Joe and Valerie Wilson are "thrilled" with the publicity they've gotten from the Libby case. Yoiks!) We met at the local City Hall where we paced and embraced and swallowed our nerves. Finally, we went in. The ceremony was so intimate and lovely. Shopgirlove cried, of course...the vows were short but deep, very much about the role of friends in this marriage and the role of this marriage for their friends. (Something I had not thought of in my meta-analysis.) We adjourned to a local pub and hoisted several l'chaims in honor of the union. All in all, Shopgirlove can't help but think that modern love has a chance despite the odds. As they say in Jamaica, "may like find like".
Happy Valentine's Day!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Can I get a witness?

Shopgirlove will serve tomorrow as a witness at a dear friend's wedding.
It is very small and very low key and for whatever reason seems even more meaningful because of the intimacy of the ceremony. She knows she will cry--she cries at everything. But she is overwhelmed by a sense of responsibility to this couple. Once upon a time, every marriage had enormous impact on each member of the newlyweds' community. A new economic unit had been formed. The future offspring could change the direction of a village or a dynasty. Weddings were, in other words, public property.
Now, however, they are private acts more suitably held within the privileged sphere of family and friends. Perhaps that should read friends first, then family, the first being often closer than the second. Dick and Jane, Dick and Dick, Jane and Jane. These unions today are acts of personal faith; two persons in defiance of their lack of cultural relevance, deciding to commit to each other despite history, convention, and even common sense. These are acts of bravery, really, in the face of the collapse of the institution of marriage and the institutionalization of individualism. Community, that is a group invested in the individual and vice versa, is rarely found outside of cults these days. It is something we create amongst ourselves or never find at all. Hence Shopgirlove's sense of responsibility. By standing witness to this union, she shoulders a burden that would once have been spread across many backs.
She is honored.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Hell hath no fury

Dear New York Times,
Shopgirlove's first subscription was to your paper. She always admired your gravitas and minimal typos. She got to the point where she could complete Eugene T. Maleska's Saturday puzzles--in pen. Shopgirlove has always loved you. She looked forward to having coffee with you on Sundays, She loved the way you look, your scent, all your quirky, old-fashioned phrases.
But lately...
First there was Jason, then Judy, then Michael, and now? Michael again. You promised it was over. You said you had changed, that you didn't want to be like that anymore. Was it all lies? Have we wasted all this time? Have you no shame?
Shopgirlove gave you the best years of her life!

Saturday, February 10, 2007

The larder is full

The dishes are done and the house is clean.
Good night my darlings. Shopgirlove has things to do and people to see.
Love each other and be well.

Friday, February 9, 2007

Sak pase?

UN forces in Cite Boston, Haiti, are shooting the wrong people again. Meanwhile, the UN appoints an American to a political position. What better than a representative of the least credible broker-nation to head the brokering arm of the NGO least capable of brokering?
Shopgirlove is troubled. She hears the lunch is pretty good, though.

If I had a million dollars

Shopgirlove has added two of her favorite destinations to her links list. One, firedoglake (my heroes), is long overdue. The other, Joe and Valerie Wilson's site (the good fight), she discovered on the first one.
Shopgirlove's Brother once explained to her that the chances of winning the lottery are statistically equal whether or not you buy a ticket, so she doubts she'll ever have much extra cash lying around.
Right! Here's the pitch: no more presents for Shopgirlove. Birthday, Christmas, random acts of kindness. 86 'em!
In lieu of gifts, please consider donating to one or both of these sites.
Even if Shopgirlove isn't on your list (never met her, wouldn't give her the time of day!), please consider donating. These are good people doing incredibly expensive things to safeguard democracy.

Also, could someone please explain mashups?

Anna Nicole Smith was blond

Well, everyone else seems to think this is important. Shopgirlove doesn't understand why, but then she's blond and we all know that means she must be dumb.
Shopgirlove thought Smith's death was all about bipolar disease and self-medicating. Or perhaps about the economic realities of single mothers.
Silly Shopgirlove!

All good children are asleep

Shopgirlove loves all of you and wishes you good night...

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Always lift with your knees

And never spill pickle juice all over yourself when you have rehearsal after work and don't have time to change. Yes, the gherkin in the high section, the one with the sore back? That was Shopgirlove.
The Divi Zhenis were pretty chilly tonight since the boiler in our church died.
It's nice to be home and out the brine.

Worker bee

Shopgirlove had such a nice day yesterday! She worked day one of a three day lecture series at an ivory tower. (She had forgotten how thirsty scholars are.) And then, she had a lovely night out with Sweet Thing. She ended up feeling productive and coddled and definitely has the warm and fuzzies. Especially the fuzzies. Ooooh cognac thy name is fuzzy! (Hey, Shopgirls get thirsty too...)

P.S. If you're are anywhere near Central Kitchen, get the trout. It is a perfect example of how to break all the rules and produce a masterpiece. Shopgirlove will remember this dish until her dying day.

P.P.S. Thank you, Sweet Thing!

Monday, February 5, 2007

Shopgirlove got hired

Yay Shopgirlove!

The big game

Oh darn! I mean, I love Dungy, but yoiks!

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Sad news

A little boy in Toledo with spina bifida lost his foot after the family dog chewed on it. The dog was put down and the Mother arrested. The dog was repeatedly referred to as a "pit bull" yet, looking at it's photo, Shopgirlove doesn't think so. Once again, the media refuses to do its job and actually check a fact. Once again, a "PitBull" gets the blame for owner malfeasance. Ban the deed, not the breed. Go here if you think you know this dog. You don't. Breed specific laws are canine Jim Crows. King Dutch has been attacked twice by Cocker Spaniels--nasty little things. But we wouldn't try to remove them from the general population.
Never leave a child alone with any dog, even a pure Pit, one of the least human-agressive dogs around!
Please, please, ask questions, do research, and whatever you do--don't support PETA.

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Panem et circenses

"Nell'ufficio di Scaramella, a Napoli, sono stati sequestrati 20 mila dollari in banconote da 100, intonse, con numeri di serie sequenziali e, a un primo esame, non provenienti da istituti di credito italiani. Verosimilmente consegnati da un "corriere", Battistolli. Chi pagava, dunque, Scaramella? "
La Republica, Carlo Bonini and Giuseppe D'avanzo

In Scaramella's office, In Naples, were hidden twenty thousand dollars in $100 [uncut?] bills with sequential serial numbers and, at first glance, not originating from any Italian bank. Apparently delivered by a courier, Battistoli. Who, then, paid Scaramella? (Shopgirlove's translation.)

Oh my, Shopgirlove misses Italian politics. They just have more fun. So, the Italian right is trying to smear P.M. Prodi. Who is the best man for the job? How about that wacko, gun-running, cop-impersonating oh wait, he beat that, psuedo-enviromentalist, spy? Of course! Somewhere along the way, he tries to link everyone on Berlusconi's enemies list to the KGB, including the two reporters investigating the Niger forgeries. Oh, and he got a little dose of radiation poisoning when he had sushi with Alexander Litvinenko. But he's fine now. Well, he's in jail, but in fine health. Now, given Berlusconi's loosey-goosey ideas about bribery and anyone who disagrees with him, Shopgirlove can't help but wonder whether Mario's generous friend might not be Silvio...Don't look for any resolution out of Rome, it's not what they do best.
Shopgirlove wishes she knew what intonse meant...she really wants those bills to be on uncut sheets, but it's no word she's ever met.

Friday, February 2, 2007

Kearney, Kearney, Kearney

When will you learn? The kerfuffle down in the Bible-Belt, er make that Kearney, New Jersey, takes a sinister turn as the school decides to ban recording devices in the school. Even more stomach turning is the teacher who set this all off with his classroom discussions of dinosaurs on the ark.
Why are atheists angry? Go here and find out...

Thursday, February 1, 2007

It's just too much

Shopgirlove doesn't know where to start!
Biden? Oh Lord, Joe! Are you serious?
Molly Ivins? I think there is a special place in heaven where you can smoke and drink and never be hungover or ever have to talk to a Republican. If I'm good, can I go there?
Henry Kissanger thinks Shrub has a card up his sleeve? Oh well. I feel better already!
Posh Beckham Spice wants to sell jeans to "normal sizes"?. 'Cuz she' soooooooooooo normal! I know. let's play find your clavicle: oooh, I win!
Shopgirlove is totally incapable of commenting on the Libby Trial or anything serious because she had to sing Bulgarian last night and has had more than one cocktail tonight, that's it for her! So there.


Shopgirlove might have a paycheck next week.

Love that dirty water

By KEN MAGUIRE, Associated Press Writer (from Yahoo):

"As soon as Turner realized the Boston problem around 5 p.m., it said, law enforcement officials were told of their locations in 10 cities where it said the devices had been placed for two to three weeks: Boston, New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Ore., Austin, Texas, San Francisco and Philadelphia."

Shopgirlove thinks the real questions are, did no one in the the other cities notice? Did they notice and not care? Is Boston really that much better?