the best and worst of a day in retail

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Ich bin ein berliner

Alright, alright! So Shopgirlove had a melodramatic post about needing to take a break. But then there was this story about a teutonic horse and its tipsy master...who could resist?

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Oh boy!

Shopgirlove is a little overwhelmed. She is trying to do well in her new job and isn't sure when she will be able to do justice to her readers again. Please bear with her and check in next week for an update. She will be back soon, in full force, she promises. Until then, take all my loving wishes...

Monday, April 23, 2007

That was quite a weekend

Shopgirlove's people rallied behind her to get her stuff out of storage. LOVE the people! Her apartment is a complete disaster at the moment. Why does she have 500 lbs of books? Who has 500 lbs of books? And what's with the 300 lbs of kitchen stuff? She still wasn't feeling 100% and Sunday broke with spasms and the knowledge that, perhaps, limits had been pushed. So, no concert for Shopgirlove. Divi Zheni performed at NEFFA without her, alas. She was unable to attend.
Also, she hasn't seen Bollywood in, like, forever! That doesn't seem fair, since she really does like him and could use some extracurricular activity. Or at least a cuddle, although King Dutch is going through an astonishingly affectionate phase, so she does have some love in her life.
But today was the first day of the rest of her life--she started her new job! Too bad the air conditioning didn't work and we all wanted to run away and join the circus. For a fairly comesome and affable group of professionals, we were rather damp and cranky by the end of the day. I think 40 f to 80 f is an unsurmountable change for even the most seasoned workers.
Here's hoping tomorrow will be more bearable.

Friday, April 20, 2007

The wedding of the century

Let's hope this one turns out better than the wedding of the last century! They did consult astrologists, so perhaps the stars are with them.

Shopgirlove is either a Tula or a Vrishchika, depending on the longitude and latitude. (It's complicated.) Add either to the Fire Horse/Libra profile, and you get one dangerous hottie! With kidney stones. And a problem with authority. But hot!

The one message that all the star-gazers seem to share, is that Shopgirlove has a shot at love. Apparently, the good life begins late for this charming, alluring, smart, obstinate, vengeful, peace-loving, intuitive, gullible, rational, decadent child of October. They do not, however, foretell if her man will mount a white horse. Oh well, a shopgirl can dream, can't she?

Duck duck goose

Remember when avoiding responsibility used to be the sport of welfare moms and bankruptcy filers?
Well, it's gone mainstream. At Huffpo, Brian Williams offers up a Clintonesque excuse for airing the material NBC received from that villain Shopgirlove will not name. Why did they do it? Because they could.

The money quote: "Our first step was to call law enforcement and hand over the originals"

The persons at law enforcement who then made copies of everything and gave that material back to NBC should loose their jobs! Shame on them!

Also on Huffpo, or rather not on Huffpo, Alec Baldwin blames his deranged message to his little girl on Kim. Eminem should write a song. If you're comfortable linking to a story about Britney's Dad, why not Ireland's?

Ah, the current Administration. Where to begin? Could someone please get AG Gonzales a Treo? Why doesn't White House HR help Rove with his clerical skills? Who finally dragged the Old Grey Lady into the last century? But thankfully, this First Lady sure can pick a carpet!

Oh what the heck! Let's all check into rehab! C'mon everybody, it'll be fun!

Update: HuffPo has a wonderful message to a daughter up. Still no direct comment on Daddy Dearest, though.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

That hussy Camille had nothing on me

(The consumptive courtesan, not the esteemed cultural critic.)
Well, no, Shopgirlove does not have consumption. But she does have a slight ague...she thinks. She's not sure what the ague is, exactly, but she thinks she might have it. That would explain her fugue. Whatever that is. The point is that Shopgirlove is home sick with a fever, aches, a sore throat, and fatigue. Confronted with the ague, the fugue, and the fatigue, Shopgirlove decided to read her May issue of Vanity Fair. Her subscription was a gift from the Fish, who lovingly supports Shopgirlove in a hopeless addiction to Dominick Dunne, can you say enabler? And where is D.D.? The latest issue is truly a test of how far V.F. can go before it loses it's audience.
May, you see, is the "Green Issue". Gracing the cover? The King of the World! of course. Sex symbol? Is the inside of a carton of homogenized milk sexy? Is pre-pubescent brooding sexy? And what to make of the concept of "green jewelry"? Who are we kidding? A half-page devoted to labels is utterly subsumed by 100 plus pages of advertising.

Dear Vanity Fair,

You are preaching to the choir.
Trashing Rush Limbaugh and photoshopping cute little polar bear cubs onto your cover does nothing to contribute to any real debate about the state of the earth.
Why not challenge your readers? Do an expose on recycling and the fact that cities promote it for profit despite the detrimental impact it has on the environment.

But telling us about the soignee Lauren Bush is obviously more important. And ever so much more easy.

By all means, go green!

While I loved the piece on Moss, I can't say you were there first. The Bobby Kennedy raptor piece piqued my interest, and I loved learning about my neighbor architects, Park and Hong (oh no, wait, that was the New Yorker). Right, the Kissinger article? Not bad, but au courant?

I will suspend judgement until June. Be warned, however, that I will not ask my friend to renew my subscription to your publication if you do not:

a) Bring back Dominick Dunne

b) Grow a pair



Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Once upon a time

Shopgirlove found a series of animated shorts, so dark, so funny, that she found herself returning to them today. There is some small relief in denial. When events overwhelm and no response seems adequate, art can step in and, if nothing else, give expression to misery. Occasionally, it can remind us of that most heroic human action: turning sorrow into beauty.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Sunday, April 15, 2007

What if you're innocent?

The three lacrosse players from Duke have been cleared of charges and can continue their lives. Do not use this this case to discount the reality of violence against women.

Press Clippings

Is on hiatus enjoying a pre-marathon martini.

My Sister, my Brother

The richest nation on earth has left her children out in the cold. We failed them then. We are failing them now. Instead of love and support, they receive insult after insult after insult. Someone even erased the record of their tragedy.
This nation came together to support New York after 9/11. Have we nothing left to give?

The Old Cannard

Every time a white man in a position of power gets caught and is punished for his potty-mouth, other white men in positions of power pose the same question: "What about rap?"

Enough. Stop. Knock it off.

Context is relevant.

Art reflects culture.

Don Imus shaped culture.

Artists have more freedom to speak than employees of news organizations. There are very good reasons why satire is protected and slander and libel are not.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Friday the 13th

King Dutch has been very very bad. Bad King Dutch. Bad.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Can you hear me now?

Shopgirlove hasn't really gotten much feedback lately...that's o.k....she blogs because she likes the outlet, but she has a yen for conversation these days. A little back and forth banter. Is anyone out there? Her reader stats tell her she has a very loyal audience, and she is grateful to each and every one of you. But why not drop a line now and then?

Who are you? How did you come to be here? What do you think?

To get the ball rolling, Shopgirlove wants to put the folllowing on the table:

Her days as a shopgirl are seemingly over. Mind you, this is not a bad thing. It's just that it's been such a huge part of her identity for so long, she doesn't quite know what to make of the change. Perhaps a new name is in order? Who is she now?
Any bright ideas? Staff Assistantlove doesn't have much resonance to it, does it?
Well, here is my new bio, please weigh in with your submissions:

I am in customer care in a very corporate office in a very academic setting. I love everyone I work with and every contact I have with our clients. The best description of what I do is problem solving. My most valuable contribution is turn around. Anyone who starts with me from an unhappy place ends up happy.


Oh well. Do chime in--it's an open forum.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Dreams do come true

I got the job.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

From a loving place

Shopgirlove has been thinking a lot about civility lately. She is working in an office where the culture dictates thanking the receptionist after relieving her for breaks. This bears repeating. The people who are covering the front desk as a favor, thank the person at the front desk. They are acknowledging A) that they couldn't do their jobs without her, and B) that she may not feel appreciated. This is not the norm. In most offices, people have a balance sheet and keep score. Honestly, in most human interactions, people have a balance sheet and keep score.

And yet, life is much more pleasant the other way.

So why, Shopgirlove wonders, would we choose to be rude? Is it a post-colonial identity crisis? Are we that insecure? Or are we actually, per the right, suffering from a break-down in family values?

Shopgirlove is not naive, she realizes that rude started well before twenty-first century America. The Romans, after all, coined the term ad hominem. However, it does seem odd that the wealthiest, most powerful country in the history of humanity, should so easily embrace hate speech. Why bother, really? What do we gain? What possible incentive is there to attack the weak when you are strong?

Not that long ago, Shopgirlove was addicted to a reality t.v. series called the Starting Over House. One season, a woman named "T.J." showed up. "T.J." was incapable of self-censorship. Most of what she said was hurtful and unnecessary. Her "Life Coach" gave her a list of questions she had to answer before she could open her mouth.

1) Is what I am about to say helpful?

2) Is what I am about to say necessary?

3) Is what I am about to say from a loving place?

When Shopgirlove shared this with friends and family, most owned up that they would hardly open their mouth given the same guidelines.

What does this say about us?

Given the vitriol online and the calls for a Bloggers' code of ethics, how guilty are we? Are we better or worse than the overall culture?

How does Don Imus compare to Ann Coulter?

Shopgirlove would argue that we, bloogers, are the lightening rod for our peers, A code of ethics for us is about as useful as a code of ethics for this administration...not that she wouldn't sign on to it, because she would.

But things don't look so good from here..............

Monday, April 9, 2007

Curt Schilling

Is o.k. by me! Shopgirlove is actually kind of excited by the potential for this season. Don't tell anyone.

Enough about me!

Do you remeber B.? Well, her Father's been fairing poorly. Keep her in your hearts, she's going through a tough time.

Last week

I tried to requisition a pony.

We have an office Goddess. You know who she is. The expediter. The one who keeps it all together. Mam has M. and Shopgirlove has D. She runs everything and can solve any problem. Well, Shopgirlove has presented her with a few problems...this light doesn't work, the toilette in the second stall in the ladies' is backed up, oh, and Master B. is stuck in the middle elevator. D. handles each crisis with grace and humor and has never seemingly held it against Shopgirlove that our contacts are overwhelmingly negative. Shopgirlove, however, does NOT like being the person that other people would rather run from when they see her coming. So she decided to ask for something funny.

She asked for a pony. When the Goddess recovered, she said she thought that ponies might be on back order. So fine. Shopgirlove knows how to wait...still on back order...then out of stock. She could have had a bunny, it turns out, but she missed the deadline.

Alright, no pony. No bunny.

Fine, Shopgirlove went to her Mam's and ate enough for three people. (Love Easter!) When she came back into work this morning, the lovely V. (another expediter) had a gift bag for Shopgirlove. It seems the Easter Bunny got confused and left Shopgirlove's basket at V.'s house. Inside?

A My Little Pony! Now that's good people.

Interview # 8

I know they're probably cramping at this point, but keep those fingers crossed!

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Press Clippings

The British Sailors got parting gifts,
steamed up the blogosphere,
and got permission to make great piles of money.

1984 here and abroad.

Quail in space! Yes, there's a blog.

Disney loves love!

The Easter Egg Roll has some competition.

Easter Bunny kidnapped in Santa Monica!

Don Imus sets a new low.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

I think I'm in love

No sillies! Not with Bollywood. We've only had two dates! (Although, they were fabulous...) Shopgirlove has fallen for Dice-K. Those dimples! That smile! The shoulders! The gyro! What the heck is a gyro? Shopgirlove remembers living in Rome and trying to communicate in a foreign language. After three months, she had her first dream in Italian. Now, that was a milestone! Well, it seems like Tek and Dice-k have worked things out. As has Coach Farrell. All in all, October's looking pretty good!

Friday, April 6, 2007

Interview # 7

Fingers crossed everybody!

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Ash Wednesday according to Keith Richards

Buy some coke.
Take the cremated remains of your Father.
Cut the ashes with your drugs.
Put the mix up your nose.

Bonus? No more grueling PR for Disney!

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Second helpings

So we had a second date! We went back to River Gods for a bunless cheeseburger with bacon and the dip plate. Yum! Great DJ and a fabulous waitress. She was vigilance itself when it came to the gluten. There's was even more talking and more giggling. Shopgirlove thinks this one deserves a name...
Doc? Valentino? Boo? Mr. Mumbai? This will require some thought. Shall we have a contest? Name Shopgirlove's date! Shiva's out, as he's christian. Bedroom Eyes?
Oh well, best idea gets a dedicated post.

Monday, April 2, 2007

Dear Red Sox

Please don't break my heart.
Or maybe this is a good sign. least it's started!

Chag Pesach Sameach

May your fast be easy and your matzoh kugel be sweet.
Do you Miriam?
Have you ever been to a Christian seder?
How about a muslim one?
Does anyone actually like Manischewitz?
No really, Shopgirlove wants to know!

Sunday, April 1, 2007


Shopgirlove's Editor at her home away from home wanted details about her date. Being a complete sycophant and having gotten permission from the date in question, I will strive to oblige...

So, we met at a bar. During a storm. I was with a very good friend catching up on old times. Then I realized that my car was snowed in. Since King dutch had destroyed my ice scraper, I turned to the guy next to me to ask if I could borrow his. Ommigawd! The eyes on this man! (Shopgirlove kinda has a thing for Asian men--bonus if they're Indian!) Oh my! So he said yes. And then explained that his scraper had lost its scraper, rendering it a useless wooden stick. Also, he had to go drive his friend to the airport. But he came back. And gave shopgirlove and her friend a lift. And was mortified when Shopgirlove fell in the snow. And texted her for two weks solid proving that he wasn't just looking for a f@*k buddy! And then took her out and rocked her world...Also, he proposed marriage during a lull in conversation at the bar. All in all, a very nice start.

Press Clippings

Yo, MC Rove is in da house, yo!

Bad boys bad boys!

Bad cops bad cops!

U.N.I.T.Y. that's unity!

Because the night...

Walk like an Egyptian!

Lies, lies, lies!

Get a job!