Shopgirlove vs. Blanche DuBois

Shopgirlove has, more or less, 27 years in customer service under her belt. She's benefited from the kind of investment that corporate retail makes in training their front-line and from watching quirky independent retailers cater to the whims of their most loyal customers: rules are good but at best they are only guidelines. Sometimes, however, a customer will rebuff every attempt at excellence and completely undercut your desire to assist them. Last June Shopgirlove crashed headlong into one of these unhelpables. Let's call her Blanche DuBois, shall we? She is southern and has a way of presenting herself as a victim of absolutely everyone and everything. Circumstance undoes her. At every turn. And it's all your fault. Which brings us to Shopgirlove's first rule of excellence in customer service:

1) Always apologize.

Seems simple, and yet. When you and your organization are obviously not in the wrong, it's not so easy. But see, you don't actually have to admit to incompetence. You just have to find something that makes you genuinely sorry. Like your customer's choice in eyeshadow. For example:

Blanche (in a Georgia-peach kinda drawl): My husband was taken horribly ill and we had to cancel off our trip! Ah have been havin' a terrible time with the insurance company. They are refusin' to help me! Ah cannot get anyone over there to help me and Ah cannot believe you would recommend such a fly-by-night operation!

Shopgirlove (on guard, as she knows this vendor and knows that it's not that hard to file a claim with them): Oh no! I'm so sorry! I've never had any complaints about them before and I've always been really happy in my dealings with them. Let me call over there and find out what the status of your claim is. This must be a difficult time for you and I imagine it's very hard to have to deal with all these logistics while you are caring for your husband.

Blanche (playing it for all it's worth): Oh, you have no idea what Ah am goin' through.

Shopgirlove has no idea, this is true. A $30,000 vacation is less real to her than a walk on the moon. So she can honestly say yes. Which brings us the second rule:

2) Don't lie.

In coporatespeak, this is called: managing expectations. You would be surprised at how often this step is undermined from above. People on the floor know that a certain product is unreliable. They are the best source for reliable information for the customer. The good ones become a go-to for consumer choices: I trust X to tell me what to buy and what to avoid. Shopgirlove won't back a product or a service that she wouldn't purchase. But you, as a consumer would be shocked at the leaning on your local shopperson to push a certain high-profit product. Which brings us to rule 3:

3) You are selling a relationship not a product.

At the end of the day, if you don't believe in a vendor, don't sell their product...

To be continued.